| dreamt of eric and seth |
[19 Aug 2007|09:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
i just had thesweetes most wonderful twisting a knife in the soul dream.
was dreaming i signed back onto aim and was talking wihtsomneone who brought eric online.
and found thre has been internet troubles and had lost all the info. then hecame down andf brought seth with him. i just want to cry now. they were talking about buying a house down here and i got to HUG them. then i woke up. funny part is before i realized it was a dream i wanted mikheal to meet them and vice versa.
i had also found out a day or so ago that all of my old email accounts had been reset. i lost almosty all of my stuff from when i was with seth and eric. i now only have the one cd. it had the picsture which were the most important. but i will miss the surveys i had from them.
i deserve this. i still need to find sarah and hand her the bat to break my bones with.
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| random poetry. not gonna make sense i'm a wee bit tipsy |
[19 Aug 2006|09:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
bleeding heart and wounded soul.
cracked and broken,
no longer am i whole.
i'm just a wick without a light.
there's nothing left to guide my sight.
nothing more to wish
nothing left to hope
just me sitting here waiting for the end of the rope
i'm just a wick without a light
there's nothing left to fight my night.
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| oooo i got ma hair done |
[14 Jul 2006|06:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
its all cool and spiked and short. and and reddish... and blondish.... and brunette.... i'm a bad hair joke rolled up in one. i'm the blonde brunette AND the redhead ^_^
okies hyper babble ends now. but all is well with me.
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[04 Jun 2006|09:00pm] |
.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
Unique, mystical, insightful and beautiful.You are a Snow sprite. Mysterious, and alluring you naturally attract people to you, your like a people magnet even though you most often wish to be alone. Your love for cold climates and snow has given you an insight into the beauty few see. While most see bland white you see a forest or blanket of sparkling white beauty. To you life is something precious and you intend to figure out its mysteries. You are very mature and don't waste your intelligence on childish games or people not worth your time which can make you seem arrogant at times but you are really just intent on saving your time for better things. Your soul is very beautiful if not a little shut up, you keep your emotions hidden from everyone and therefore they don't know what your capable of. You are a living fantasy.
Take this quiz!
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| i'm all thinky right now |
[16 May 2006|08:56pm] |
i'm all contemplative and thinking about how i'm going to get my room all taken care of and how thursday should be the last day my car isn't legally driveable.
cleaning up my crap and i'm actually going to throw stuff away that is trash like old school papers from junior year of highschool can't believe i still had those damn things.
i'm energetic and feel like dancing as well ^_^ there's always room for that.
i've been having more trouble then normal fighting of the urge to be a hermit.
and i've been losing too.
no worries though i'll remember more and more that there IS an outside world.
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| unfinished poetry draft |
[09 May 2006|10:26pm] |
twinkling stars fall from the sky
escaping the sun's cruel cold lie
benevolent in death and impassive in life
the moon now hides
leaving water's heart alone
with nothing to cherish nothing to hold
air's sweet touch comforts water as she cries
and cries and cries.
but the never ending crying iasn't what to fear.
soon the lake of sorrow will be full.
and air and water will boil with rage.
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[31 Mar 2006|03:38pm] |
well i've been drinkgin alot lewss soda lately and my brain and body has been alot happier with me... well not while i was having withdrawal headaches those suck... though what that does mean is i've been remembering to actually check back with peopls and call them and i have a concept of time now. its freaky.
also happy birthday to eri wherever you are, i hope your happy. well i have to go do stuff laterz ^_^
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| poemic deification woot making up terms is fun |
[21 Mar 2006|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
rain will rise
and fire shall chill
the wind will calm and forever still
and earth shall become our brand new sky
shaking and writhing with life anew
do not fear that this is the end
its a new beginning of life my friend
forever new and borne of change
soon my loves
free again
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[25 Feb 2006|10:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
well the urge to do spring cleaning hit me early.
my floor is clean. my bookshelf is organized and i'm organizing the last of my video games. the tv/dresser is cleaned.
only spots still messy are comp desk, nightstand, and closet. oh. and there are some things under my bed. oooo almost forgot there';s ther drawers IN the dresser. lots o crap in them O.o
oh well. i'm doing the closet now. its just laundry then organizing stuff.
on another note i want horns. ooo or a unicorn horn.. but darker looking ^_^
anyways i found that i have ALOT of friggin cd's. thats why my comp desk is messy still. too many cd's not enough spaces to stuff em.
found a disk holder thingi though. i just gotta go through them first ^_^.
only problem with me spring cleaning is that means i'm pretty stressed and am trying to keep busy.
silly parent drama. on the flip side to that though my room is getting clean and i will HAVE to take piccies as proof. and then hold a floor sex orgy :p but i have enough space i can try and do tai chi again and to do the ab crunchy stuff. i'd like to tone up ^_^ hm.. i'll have to see if i can go bar hopping/clubbing with my aunt some time. we used to be really close. heh and me dragging her to a bar is probably safe enough though she will eventually get to see me dance. which she will laugh at and be disturbed at since she helped raise me :p
still working at ev1. which is cool. have to remake my resume though. silly me forgetting to back it up before the computer gets formatted.
i managed to survive valentine's day. was bittersweet cuz i got to be all cuddly and stuff but it was also lucas' birthday. i still miss them. i;m just finally not weepy at the thought of one of them. still sad. but no breakdowns anymore. april is going to suck though. eri and seth's birthday. even though they want nothing to do with me i still think of them as family. i hope they're safe and okay.
meh. enough moping. heh went dancing a week ago. got tipped dollar bills ^_^ twas fun.
life is like pandora's box. you have to see whats inside to find the hope.
heh and hopefully i didn;t garble that story.
well i'm off to resume cleaning. hope all is okay.
PS i is 24 now ^_^ w00t.
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[31 Jan 2006|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 flirty |
] |
everyone is connected by a thread of emotion.
a direct connection depending on how strong the thread.
what if one could reach through a person and snag a thread they're attached with.
and affect the person that was close to them but hurt them.
if the thread is strong enough could one person
reach through the thread to reach through a thread that is arcing out of the one close to you.
all it would take is to grasp the thread gently and twist it
to pull on it as you warp the line
sending pain through to the victim
while ripping out a small piece of themselves.
though the thread stays firm. the connection between the thread you warped stays the same
but therer's a price.
and its not a light one.
but sometimes
its worth paying
and no i haven't done it
but its possible for me
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| mookies and cilk |
[25 Jan 2006|06:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 that one song |
] |
heh it would be nice if i wasn't so damn shy. yeah i know it doesn't look it sometimes anymore but... well i'm shy when it comes to hitting on people or being hit on. i mean when i get hit on i honestly have no idea what to do or say.
i'm getting a bit stronger though. my thoughst are getting clearer again so w00tness there ^_^
i want to sand and carve my wand soon. i need to grant it shape. well i'm off to get wet and nekkid.
tootles
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[25 Jan 2006|06:34pm] |
kiss me biss
and hold me tight
help me breathe strong
deep into this night
merge the shards into a soul
meh ran out of poetry babble.
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| teehee i'm so hyper |
[07 Jan 2006|07:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 predatory |
] |
"blood to blood
soul to soul
i call you forth
allies of old.
battle again against the plague
mankind still breeds in this age
rot their flesh
and snuff their spark
rend the hope right out their eyes
spray their blood up to the skies
taste of faith
and arms of war
behold my horrors
and know no more."
~a happy moment~
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| mmm poetry |
[20 Dec 2005|04:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
lost in the dark
no screams but your own
your eyes shedding hope
some dreams are worth dying for
and some just kill
so remember my children
no matter how strong the dream
never forget
the dreamer is ever so fragile
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| poetry vomit :p |
[29 Nov 2005|05:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
to cry tears of blood
straight from your aching chest
lost in a dream of what could have been
and what will be.
i am sorrow
i am glee
forever bound
and never free
eyes so pure
and eyes so clear.
your so far
yet they're still here
if you look for your future.
do more then look
grasp and hold
don't get trapped in the mirror
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[26 Nov 2005|07:36pm] |
i'm the path you wish to see
i am the discord played by harmony's strings.
i'm the darkness kissed by candlelight
the truth that simply cannot be
i am the dreams where i control how you feel
i'm the screams you can't keep in
the taste you can't quite feel.
but no matter what happens.
i never seem to be that real.
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| random poetry blurbs |
[22 Nov 2005|07:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
in all the worlds
in all; the dreams
all things in agony
wish to scream.
7 days into the past
to make a wish that will not last
one by one the guards shall fall.
and regret at last to one and all.
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| no lj for YOU!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHA |
[17 Oct 2005|08:23pm] |
[X] I have a car.
[ ] I have a truck.
[ ] I have a cell phone.
[X] I had a hard time paying attention at school.
[X] I have a hidden talent.
[X] I have a hobby.
[X] I have a lot to learn.
[X] I have a pet. (boyfriends count right????)
[ ] I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
[X] I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy.
[X] I have at least one brother and/or sister.
[X] I have been in a real relationship.
[X] I have been rejected by someone.
[X] I have been to another country.
[X] I have been told that I am very smart.
[X] I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
[ ] I have had my hair cut within the last week.
[X] I have had sex with someone
[ ] I break for trees (little bitches should have gotten out of the way)
[ ] I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
[X] I have mood swings. (i'm part girl dontcha know.)
[X] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (trust me most of you don't want to know)
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I have seen the television show The O.C. (thank gods i haven't)
[X] I have swam in the ocean.
[X] I have tried a drug that is illegal.
[X] I have watched Sex and the City.
[X] I have watched the television show Spongebob Squarepants.
[X] I know how to shoot a gun. (does point and click count???)
[X] I like being the center of attention. (i'm an attention whore ^_^)
[X] I like Shakespeare.
[ ] I like India (never been there)
[X] I like the taste of blood. (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
[X] I like to cook.
[X] I like to sing. (good luck shutting me up)
[X] I like to vacuum. (only at 3am)
[X] I love rain. (wanna watch me get damn horny???? let listens to the rain real quick)
[X] I love to play computer games. (webcam shows count as a computer game right???)
[X] I love to shop. (silly gay gene)
[X] I miss someone right now.
[X] I own 100 CDs or more.
[ ] I own a home. (not yet)
[ ] I own and use a library card.
[X] I read books for pleasure. (espicialy naught ypicture books :p)
[ ] I sleep a lot during the day. (used ot)
[ ] I strongly dislike math.
[ ] I think Britney Spears is pretty.
[ ] I would classify myself as ghetto.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[ ] I like orange kool aid.
[X] I like being at school.
I have....
[X] been drunk.
[X] smoked pot.
[ ] ridden in a taxi.
[ ] fired a real gun.
[ ] milked a cow
[ ] had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
[X] slept in a bunkbed
[ ] been thrown from a horse
[ ] removed a rattlesnake from a campsite
[X] lost my mind
[X] regained my mind
[ ] built a raft
[ ] shot rats for money
[X] worn cowboy boots
[ ] been shot at
[ ] branded cattle
Do you...
[X] feel loved.
[X] feel lonely.
[X] feel happy.
[ ] hate yourself. (i'm not much into that anymore)
[X] have a dog. (a weiner dog ^_~)
[X] have your own room.
[X] sing along with your music.
[ ] want to be buried on the lone prairie
[X] get good grades.
[X] wear boxers
[X] like to read.
[X] like to write.
[X] do imitations
Are you...
[X] bored.
[X] happy.
[X] short.
[ ] tall
[ ] just right
[X] realistic
[X] romantic
[ ] home on the range
[X] I am a cuddler
[X] I am a Great dancer or try to be
[ ] I am an only child.
[ ] I am Catholic. (dies laughing)
[X] I am currently pregnant. (damn my giving in to temptation i knew that drunken gangbang be trouble)
[ ] I am okay at styling other people's hair.
[ ] I am left handed.
[ ] I am married.
[ ] I am addicted to my myspace.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I am very shy around the opposite gender at first.
[X] I bite my nails.
[X] I can be paranoid at times.
[X] I don't hate anyone. (i don't waste my hatred)
[X] I enjoy country music. (much as i complain about bein sleepy i do enjoy it)
[ ] I enjoy jazz music.
[X] I enjoy smoothies.
[ ] I have all my grandparents
[X] I have been in a threesome.
[X] I have been to Europe.
[ ] I have broken a bone.
[ ] I have Caller I.D. on my phone.
[X] I have changed a diaper.
[ ] I have changed a lot over the past year.
[X] I have done something illegal.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have had major/minor surgery
[ ] I have killed another person.
[ ] I have had the cops called on me.
[X] I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't
[X] I have kissed someone of the same gender
[ ] I love Michael Jackson.
[X] I love my friends.
[X] I love sleeping..
[X] I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream (i call it "snatch and grab")
[X] I was born in a country other than the US.
[ ] I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
[X] I will try anything once.
[X] I work at a job that I enjoy
[ ] I can name all 7 dwarfs from Snow White
[X] I am currently wearing socks. (it counts if its over my penis right????? :P)
[X] I am tired.
[X] I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt
[ ] I am sick of the same surveys, yet, i still do them
[X] I am taken
[X] I am in love
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